Death Before Dishonor, 50 Cent & Nicky Turner

This is pulp fiction at its worst.

I had to read it. Toronto's lit geek community is all over the series as surprisingly funny beach reading, and I'd have to agree with them. It reads like a bad book geared toward grade 6 kids. Some of the writing literally makes you cringe.

The storyline is pretty basic: gantsta finally finds a bitch who gives him a run for his money, they fall in love, mess with a local drug lord and have to pay the price. Throw in some pimped out rides and a helluva lot of bling and there's the book.

It is also filled with life lessons. For example, when dressing to impress, choose chinchilla and mink furs. Accessorize. If your car is blue, buy a suit, cane, and hot twins wearing blue contacts to match. If you see a new Hummer, chances are it'll have a secret compartment for drugs and/or guns. Don't date gold diggers; they'll sell you out for a little cash.

To get all the entertainment value out of this baby, you have to embrace how terrible the writing is. It's well worth the effort.

3 gangstas out of 10

Steph

The Queen's Fool, Philippa Gregory

Set in the mid-1500s, The Queen’s Fool follows a young girl, Hannah though her service in Queen Mary’s court. Hannah and her father have fled to England from the Spanish Inquisition, guilty of their Jewish ancestry. Shortly after they arrive, masking as reformed Christians, Hannah is discovered by a Lord and his tutor as a holy Seer, and they see her hired as the royal fool. Her job is to say what she thinks, tell of her visions, to inspire and amuse the Queen. In court, Hannah finds herself drawn into the confidence of the lord who discovered her, the queen, and her step-sister, all of whom have conflicting interests. Meanwhile, her father and husband-to-be have their own opinions of how she should be employed and to whom she should be faithful. She is forced to balance her obligations to each, while ensuring that her past is not discovered.

I’m going to employ the sandwich technique of praise, criticism, praise:

I really enjoyed the fact that Gregory didn’t allow Hannah to always follow what the reader wanted her to do. It would have been easier to tie it up halfway through with a bow, but taking the harder route made for a much more gratifying read.

About 2/5 of the time I was reading it I remained mildly frustrated with how slow the story moved, how repetitive the wording was and how certain thoughts or words were not in keeping with the time period of the novel. The trouble is that this was written in bite-sized pieces, structured like a Hardy Boys novel, where details are repeated for the sake of those readers whose attention has drifted or who haven’t picked up the book in days. For a historical novel, it could have gone into more detail about the history.

That said, the romances were highly entertaining.

5 of 10 white horses

The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini

This is one of the most heart breaking novels I have ever read.

Amir, 12 when we meet him, lives in Afghanistan with his wealthy father and their two servents, Hassan and Ali. Amir and Hassan grow up together but find it increasingly difficult to remain friends, Amir being Pashtun and Hassan being Hazara. Amir is eventually forced to choose between protecting himself or Hassan and their friendship. At the start of the Soviet invasion, Amir and his father flee to California. Years later, Amir is called back to Afghanistan to help make amends for his past.

This novel helped put into perspective the past few decades of Afghan history. If only for that I would recommend it. But Hosseini's characters are so wonderful as well. I suspect that most people see a bit of themselves in Amir, both as a young boy and as he matures. I hope that when I reread this book in a few years time, I will see more of myself in Hassan.

My next project, after my current book is to read Hosseini's second novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns.

8 kites out of 10.

Steph